If you are breastfeeding during pregnancy, yous may be wondering what happens after your new babe is built-in. Nursing a new infant while an older i is still nursing is by and large referred to as tandem nursing. This could be afterward a pregnancy and the arrival of a new baby or having adopted a new nursling while continuing to feed your older child.
Thinking about tandem nursing will probable involve considering and weighing up many variables. As a breastfeeding mother, you are enlightened of how of import nursing is to your relationship with your older child. Deciding whether to continue breastfeeding him forth with a new nursling or to wean him deserves conscientious consideration of both of your changing needs.
Many mothers find making this decision particularly hard. Yous may be fatigued to both options at dissimilar times. Taking one solar day at a time may be helpful if you are unsure of what to do. Getting support in making your conclusion will requite you confidence that you are doing what is best for yous and your child.
If you do decide to tandem nurse, you lot are non lonely! Many mothers have tandem nursed two, or fifty-fifty three, children and found that it works for their family. Children who have been tandem nursed oft continue to have a special bond throughout life, and mothers report that tandem nursing can help to ease the transition of having a new infant in the family unit.
Why tandem nurse?
Continuing to breastfeed your toddler through the stressful and highly emotional feel of gaining a sibling tin can aid to make the transition smoother for them. They are less probable to be jealous of the baby who is immune to breastfeed if they can nurse aslope them. The nutrition and immunological properties of breastmilk go on to be valuable and they can assistance your toddler through whatsoever illness, tantrums and fussy phases ("regressions"), which tin sometimes occur. Nursing your older child once the new baby arrives can ease engorgement when your milk becomes plentiful and helps protect milk production if your infant is not feeding effectively.
Breastfeeding during pregnancy
Breastfeeding during pregnancy is a special feel for both you lot and your nursling and recent inquiry on the rubber of nursing during pregnancy shows that at that place is usually no reason for concern (you can read more almost this hither). Your breastfeeding relationship may change throughout pregnancy to accommodate both your developing needs and the needs of your child. Around the fourth or 5th month (sometimes earlier), pregnancy hormones volition probably crusade your milk supply to reduce and its limerick and sense of taste to change. These changes may cause some children to nurse less or wean completely (y'all tin can read more about this hither).
Nursing whilst pregnant continues to run across your child's nutritional and emotional needs and it can exist an opportunity for you to savour your unique relationship with your older child, before your baby joins the family. All the same, it tin also be a challenging fourth dimension for y'all and it may invoke intense feelings. Getting back up at this time may exist very beneficial, and you may find talking to an LLL Leader or going to your local LLL meeting really helpful. Our Pregnant and breastfeeding? article has more than data.
Preparing yourself and your toddler for a new baby
Calculation a new babe to the family has a big touch on, no matter if it's your second, or your tenth! Children, peculiarly younger ones, may not feel emotionally ready to accept this big change easily. It is a skilful idea to prepare your toddler and whatsoever older children by talking about a new baby coming. Reading stories together and showing them pictures of babies nursing can assist them to be more accepting when their sibling arrives.
Many mothers notice that they don't receive the same offers of support during 2d or subsequent babies every bit they did for their offset. It is of import to remember that as a female parent nursing two children (or more), any back up given will allow you to focus on mothering your new family. Try to go plenty of rest and eat well before the new babe comes. Actively preparing your support network earlier your baby arrives volition make the transition easier for you all. LLL groups are a great identify to meet agreeing mothers whose support can transform your mothering journey.
Labour and nascence – tandem style
Y'all may exist wondering how you will be able to provide for your older child during labour and whether she will be able to nurse or not. Having a dedicated caregiver for your older child who is able to give her expressed milk (if necessary) and get her to slumber will permit you peace of mind if you are unable to provide for her during labour.
You may want to think about whether to have your older child with you lot during labour and birth or before long subsequently the new infant arrives. If you are planning a infirmary birth, you can inquire about access for your toddler and inform your medical team that y'all volition want your toddler to be present during or soon after the nativity. Some nursing mothers opt for a dwelling house nascency, which commonly allows more freedom for your older child to be included whenever yous want her too.
Breastfeeding releases oxytocin and can help to progress a deadening labour. Even so, many mothers prefer to focus on the act of birthing and choose non to accept their older child with them until the new baby has arrived.
Your infant'southward commencement breastfeed is a really special time. If your older child breastfeeds at the same fourth dimension, this special moment will exist part of their memories too.
Any stitches y'all accept had from a tear, episiotomy, or C-department will need to heal and you may find positioning your baby, older kid or both challenging and may need a helping mitt.
Premature birth or complications
When a infant arrives early or there are nascence complications, it tin be a really difficult and stressful time, which oftentimes involves a infirmary stay and being separated from your older kid. Although your newborn will need to take priority, trying to have your toddler for curt visits whenever possible can be really helpful. If your newborn is unable to nurse right away, your older child can go on nursing and protect your milk product.
The early days – what to expect
When you requite birth your body will go on to produce colostrum, with milk becoming plentiful later on around three-5 days. As with your previous babe, y'all will demand to nurse at to the lowest degree 8-12 times per mean solar day to establish your milk production. You may worry about your newborn not getting enough colostrum if your older child is feeding too. Some mothers feed their newborn infant first or encourage the older sibling to nurse less if they feel their babe is not feeding plenty. Look out for feeding cues and give your baby unrestricted access to your breasts to assist ensure he gets enough of milk. The more milk is removed, the more will be produced. Feeding cues to scout for include rapid centre movement, moving hands, squirming or rooting. Skilful positioning and a deep attachment at the chest will help your newborn feed effectively. Encourage your baby to finish one breast before switching to the other.
If you lot are expressing milk for your baby, your toddler's nursing will help your supply. Hands-on expressing while your toddler is nursing may be particularly effective.
Encounter our page Is My Baby Getting Enough Milk for further information.
Toddler nursing like a newborn?
You may find that once your baby arrives your toddler starts nursing frequently again, just like your baby. Older siblings may enjoy increased milk supply, or simply be thinking about breastfeeding more as they see the baby breastfeeding oftentimes. If your toddler does increase his milk intake, he may lose interest in solid foods for a while as he enjoys your newly increased milk production. He may take looser stools.
If yous are happy to nurse your toddler equally much as he wants, it tin can be a lovely bonding experience for the three of you lot. Notwithstanding, if y'all are feeling overwhelmed by his requests or non keen on nursing so ofttimes, y'all might similar to try negotiating with your toddler about when and for how long he is immune to breastfeed. See 'Feelings' department for more ideas.
Separately or together?
You may prefer nursing your baby and your toddler separately or breastfeeding both nurslings together. Your older child tin can access your chest in many creative ways!
It can take a while before your body adapts to the needs of two dissimilar nurslings. Sometimes you may experience lopsided if ane breast has been drained more than the other. Somewhen things will settle down and you'll take your own individual rhythm. Alternating breasts for each feed helps with development of newborn vision and keeps the size of your breasts balanced. However, some mums find that giving a toddler his 'own side' works for them.
Tandem nursing positions
Just equally with nursing one kid, there are many different tandem nursing positions you tin can apply which are comfortable and allow for milk to be removed effectively. You lot may need to experiment to detect out what works for yous when feeding two nurslings at the same time. Your older child might as well have stiff opinions about how she likes to nurse!
If you plan to tandem feed out of the firm, information technology might be worthwhile practising a few positions at dwelling first, so yous know yous tin go both nurslings on and off easily. Some mothers notice it easier to position the infant first and let the toddler climb on, while others prefer to position the toddler first and and so add the infant.
Double cradle hold
Your toddler is positioned curled around or underneath your baby, with each kid'due south head supported by your arms.
Double underarm (clutch or rugby) concord
Your toddler sits or semi-reclines with legs pointed away from you. Your baby is held underarm with his feet away from you. This position is good for protecting caesarean stitches or if your toddler sometimes kicks or disturbs your baby.
Double side-lying concord
Your toddler is positioned laying down next to you, then the baby is perched on top of your toddler.
In that location are many other variations and combinations of the in a higher place positions which you can try.
For more than information nearly feeding positions for a single baby, see Positioning and Zipper.
Fast flow
With each pregnancy your body makes more milk and an abundant milk supply/forceful permit-downward can exist challenging for your newborn. Your older child might oblige and deal with the fast flow; otherwise, expressing just a piddling milk into a towel until the flow eases may assist your newborn.
Feelings
Tandem nursing is a big commitment and emotions can run loftier at times. You may experience huge highs, deep lows, find it too demanding, and think it is magical, all within a brusk space of time. It can feel as if information technology will be this manner forever, simply information technology might exist helpful to remember that babies are small for a curt menstruation of fourth dimension and the dynamics between yous and your two (or more) nurslings will before long change. Having realistic expectations nearly what you can manage at this indicate in fourth dimension can be helpful.
Every bit a tandem nursing mother, you and your breasts are a focal point for nourishment and intendance for both of your nurslings. This can feel overwhelming and at times you may feel breastfeeding disfavor or agitation. This can manifest itself in feeling 'touched out' and having the urge to limit your toddler's nursing. Your reaction may be mild or quite severe with stiff urges to stop feeding your older child.
Many mothers study that the nursing agitation they experience is non an accurate reflection of their feelings about breastfeeding or their relationship with their toddler. In this instance it may exist helpful to exercise some detective work about why you may be feeling like this. You might realise that you are unwell, need more than rest, are not eating well, are stressed about something, or are experiencing a bit of female parent exhaustion. Prioritising self-care and having some time alone tin can really help to rebalance your mind and recharge. Carving out time for yourself, even if it is only 10 minutes, can requite you the forcefulness to manage. Taking fourth dimension to residue is as well important, and you can endeavor to take advantage of daytime opportunities for a nap.
If you want to put some limits on your toddler'south nursing, you might like to attempt negotiating with your toddler about when he is allowed to breastfeed, setting gentle limits nigh the length of his feeds by counting or singing, or pre-emptively offering snacks or playing games with him.
Finding back up from other tandem nursing mothers gives you an opportunity to talk things through with someone else. LLL meetings are a swell place to run across tandem nursing mothers.
Looking afterward yourself
When tandem feeding, you may be constantly thirsty, hungry and tired. It's important to look after yourself past taking every opportunity to residual together and past eating enough of nutritious snacks and meals. Feeding both children at the aforementioned time during the mean solar day is a bang-up opportunity to effort putting your feet up and relaxing. Accepting offers of assistance with shopping, housework and cooking from family and friends can be extremely helpful. Taking a few moments to nurture yourself can help avoid feelings of stress or exhaustion.
Cocky-intendance is an essential role of mothering, peculiarly when your body is undergoing such big changes and ongoing demands.
Effort to make your needs articulate to your partner/support person, as they will be better able to help yous if they know what you demand. Trying to go along expectations realistic reduces stress for you and the rest of the family. Particularly in the early days, your priority is looking later on your new baby and older child(ren), and so be kind to yourself.
Eating for Iii
Tandem nursing puts concrete demands on your body equally you produce plenty milk to nourish ii children. Fatigue can exist a alarm sign that you are not keeping upward with your calorie intake requirements. Information technology is a good idea to beverage to thirst and eat as normal using your appetite equally a guide.
Nighttimes
Managing bedtimes with ii nurslings tin can be a flake tricky. If you plan to breastfeed both children to sleep y'all might discover you lot can feed both simultaneously lying downward, and so movement one child once comatose. Or it might work amend to accept someone else available to agree/entertain one child while y'all nurse the other to sleep, then nurse the second child to slumber afterwards.
Information technology is possible to nurse both children during the night, but y'all may need to do some experimenting and detect out which positions work for you lot. See our Safe Slumber and the Breastfed Baby article for more information on condom sleeping practices.
Yous may choose to dark wean your toddler, only this might outcome in considerable effort and sleep-loss in the short term during the weaning period. It is helpful to consider whether night-weaning volition lead to more sleep for you or if information technology volition be more confusing. If you practice make up one's mind to nighttime-wean, it tin can be helpful to have someone else put the toddler to sleep and get to them if they wake during the night.
Becoming a big brother or sister
Children react in many different means to the nascence of their new sibling. Information technology is common for children to find information technology difficult to adjust to a new family member. Every bit a tandem nursing mother, you lot may discover that nursing your toddler (with or without baby) offers a welcome sanctuary from the stresses of the new family dynamic. Tandem nursing siblings often have an added bail every bit children and can have a special relationship throughout their lives.
Occupying your toddler while your babe is nursing
Keeping your toddler occupied while breastfeeding your baby may be a challenge y'all have non faced before. It can work well to set clear expectations about breastfeeding, then your older kid understands what he is allowed to do during nursing time. Some older children react well if you lot requite them a alarm before you kickoff breastfeeding your baby. It might also piece of work well if you feed your baby in a sling, so your older kid may not even notice your infant is nursing.
Here are some ideas to occupy your toddler while yous are nursing your babe:
Have a special "breastfeeding toy box" which is only brought out when you are nursing your infant
Ensure your toddler has got a snack and drink prepared beforehand to eat while you are nursing
Share a book and a caress with your toddler while nursing your baby
Play verbal games with your toddler, for example "I spy"
Inquire your toddler to help y'all out, for example bringing you a nappy, a muslin etc.
A time for weaning
For some mothers tandem nursing continues for quite a while. Others decide that weaning an older child and nurturing their relationship in a different way works improve for them. If you lot decide to cease breastfeeding your older child, keep in mind that it may be a gradual process and i which needs gentle encouragement and patience.
Our Thinking of Weaning? article has information on weaning strategies. Talking to an LLL Leader can help you decide what is going to exist best for your family.
Adopting a 2nd nursling
Choosing to breastfeed your adopted babe is a wonderful way of bonding with her. Equally a mother who is already nursing some other child, yous are in the practiced position of already having a milk supply flowing. You lot volition probably demand to increase your supply to cater to your new baby'southward needs. Run across our commodity on Relactation and Induced Lactation for more information on how to increment your supply and how to supplement your infant if needed.
Tandem nursing your adopted baby and your toddler tin create a special bail betwixt all three of you which could terminal for life. Withal, breastfeeding your adopted baby may exist challenging and yous volition benefit from a strong support network. Your local LLL meetings tin exist a keen identify to find this back up.
Written by Bronwyn Davies, LLL W Kent, July 2018
Farther Reading
Birth and Breastfeeding Is my baby getting plenty milk? Dealing with criticism Nipple Pain Pregnant and Breastfeeding? Relactation and Induced lactation Safe Sleep & The Breastfed Baby Nevertheless nursing? Thinking of Weaning? Toddlers and Nutrient When you lot don't enjoy Breastfeeding
Sinkiewicz-Darol E, Bernatowicz-Łojko U, Łubiech K, Adamczyk I, Twarużek Thousand, Baranowska B, Skowron K, Spatz DL. Tandem Breastfeeding: A Descriptive Analysis of the Nutritional Value of Milk When Feeding a Younger and Older Child. Nutrients. 2021; 13(1):277. https://doi.org/10.3390/nu13010277
Other manufactures published by La Leche League International
Breastfeeding during pregnancy and tandem nursing Setting limits when breastfeeding Hilary's adventures tandem nursing Breastfeeding during pregnancy and tandem nursing: is it safe? Recent enquiry
Books
Adventures in Tandem Nursing. LLLI, Schaumburg, IL. La Leche League International, 2003 Breastfeeding Answers Made Elementary. Morbacher, N. Amarillo, TX: Hale Publishing, 2010
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